Shish Kaboob, Anyone?

(an outtake from Once More, From the Beginning. This is one of the bits that didn’t make it into the book.)

Abimelech, son of Gideon, followed in his father’s footsteps as a soldier, although God never actually appointed him a bona fide judge. The Lord’s decision might well have been influenced when Abimelech murdered seventy of his seventy-one brothers in his spirited scramble to the top of the heap. (The seventy-first, smaller and more effectively hidden than the others, was overlooked in error.) Even in those more tempestuous days, this zeal may have seemed somewhat excessive.

His illustrious career reached its pinnacle in a battle against his own disillusioned people in the city of Thebez. Having driven its inhabitants to shelter in the strongest tower available, he paused in the doorway, searching for easy access in order to set fire to the structure – people and all. One of the entrapped women, noticing him prowling about, firebrand in hand, suspected his intent and pitched down a convenient chunk of millstone. She must have been practicing her aim for just such an eventuality for she hit him square on the head and broke his skull.

Realizing in horror that he was in danger of dying ignominiously by the hand of a mere woman, this proud warrior called his trusty armour-bearer to his side and ordered the young man to run him through with a sword without delay. He was skewered just in the nick of time. His reputation was preserved (except for the small matter of fratricide, of course) and the angry woman watching from the tower didn’t give a damn, since he was just as dead one way as the other.


About Wendy Bertsch

I’m a Canadian author—a pragmatic optimist with rather eclectic interests and a pervasive sense of humour. Toronto born and bred, I live by the lake with a motley array of dogs and a cat, all but myself being of unknown origin, in a comfortable old house filled with books. Over a thousand books. Books in every nook and cranny. And now, since there can never be too many books, I'm writing more. Once More, From the Beginning highlights the women in the bible. It's about time! And believe me, they see things quite differently. And in Dodging Shells, you'll meet the irrepressible Tommy, as he fights his way through Italy in World War II. You'll love Tommy. I do. Next? Well, that's a secret yet. Stay tuned... I recently initiated the fledgling Ocean Highway Books, providing editing, formatting and cover design services to authors wishing to self-publish.
This entry was posted in biblical stuff, historical fiction, humour and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s